I often dream of my grand entrance to some award ceremony being a boisterous stroll with “Return of the Mack” blaring in the background. Unfortunately, until I get my act together I can’t imagine winning an award for anything and “Return of the Mack” will have to be confined to my November iTunes workout playlist.
So there is another “Mack”. The Eggplant. Easily a major player in a meat-loving, vegan-transitioner diet. What can’t this plant do?! It’s like meat but… not! I’ve had a love-hate relationship with eggplant all summer but one of my veggie cookbooks my mom got me boasted this amazingly easy, cheap and delicious recipe that I had to give the ol’ ‘plant another shot.
Roasted Eggplant- Lentil Caviar Crostini. That sounds frickin’ pretentious- not gonna lie but I promise this recipe doesn’t require a prep- school- education- that- failed- to- meet- the- Ivy- hype.
Adapted From The Meat Lover’s Meatless Cookbook
2 medium eggplants
Some garlic cloves
lemon juice
Olive Oil
Salt and Cayenne Pepper
Lentil Caviar (additional recipe)
Loaf of crusty bread
1. Split eggplants in half, roast at 400 for 40-45 minutes
2. After cooling for 10 minutes, scoop out eggplant flesh
3. Mix (I wish I had a food processor for this one but whatever) with garlic, lemon juice, a couple plugs of olive oil, salt and cayenne.
3. Add Lentil Caviar: you’ll need some vegetable oil, half cup of onion, 1/4 cup of diced carrots, 1/2 cup lentils, 2 tablespoons of red wine, a cup of water and pinches of salt. Sautee the veggies until aromatic, add the lentils, add wine to reduce. Lower heat and let simmer for 40 minutes. Salt to taste
4. Slather mixture on toasted slices of bread
Voila! And feel free to blare “Return of the Mack” while cooking:
Everyone is up in arms about this Irene character but hell, I’m from Texas and my hurricane street cred runs like a convicted felon. I’ve survived Katrina which brought droves of New Orleaneans into my city and my school. And dipped to escape the wrath of Ike. (I always like to picture this crazed, expensive earthquake as it’s twin Ike Turner. And not the original Ike but the feature film Laurence Fishburne- Ike).
In any case, I am trapped in my house with my Harris Teeter booty of picked over scraps and no flashlight. Luckily, I grabbed the last jar of Jiffy peanut butter (only creamy please) from a four year old. Splendid.
After I waded through the outdoor wet t-shirt contest, I thought now would be a good time for a fast. A juice fast that is. So here is my tribute to you Laurence Fishburne- Ike!
Hurricane Ike
4 carrots, halfed
3 small green apples, halfed
1/2 a cucumber, cut in wedges
1/2 beet and the stalks
small handful of parsley
Directions:
Juice.
Tip: Mash the parsley with one of the other fruits for easier, more integrated juice. Also the apples soften the blow of the beets. Though it’s only half a beet, this little vegetable makes its presence known.
Not to be mistaken for: water, sugar, purple. This triumverate serves as the bulk of most of my juicing activities.
I pack the carrots in because they make my eyes pretty and are supposed to make my skin match my orbs. I’ll keep you posted on that one. It also prevents cancer, slows heart disease and other ailments my P.Y.T self isn’t really bothered with at the moment. Carrots have a mild, faintly sweet taste that isn’t entirely terrible.
The apples’ benefits are greater than that stupid adage. But they do pack a lot of good things into my juice. Like wrinkle prevention (black don’t crack- so not a top priority), cholera (wtf- I didn’t know these were Oregon Trail times) and hair growth among other good things.
Finally, ginger. This thing is really a catch-all and adds a nice bite to my juice. Helps with immunity (lawd knows I have allergy issues), ovarian cancer prevention (a silent killer of women- will be taking chock fulls of this) and cramps, etc. Really, ginger is like the super spice. Throw it into anything. You will feel better.
Here is my Breville. Also known as the Juicer aka Juicy.
Juicy is my first child (well, really my second if I account for her aborted brother, Jack LaLanne). She’s fast, smart and easy to clean. I bought her at Best Buy for a cool Franklin. Playing hard to get, I found her perched at the very top of all the grinding machines. Glad I made the climb though. So far it has been grand…
My name is Schuy. And I am a hypocrite.
Enlightened by my elitist education and burrowing self-discovery of my precarious skin health, I tumbled down a path of extremism according to my loved ones: the world of veganism. It wasn’t enough that I never had a taste for tuna- but forgoing the cows and pigs? Blasphemy!
But I’m weak. Though I have reaped the benefits of veggie lightness, the swine holds me in a firm headlock.
Forget burgers.
Forget chicken.
Give me that bacon! It’s my one true weakness… well behind sugar, flour, runny poached eggs, butter, sharp cheddar and pretty much any baked good.
This blog will document this beautiful struggle with recipes, reviews and rants.
Here is the future…
(Julia) Child, Please!: showcases my attempt to cook at home. Generally, I try to throw something together on Sunday that will get the job done during the week for lunch and dinner. So it’s a twofer!
Juice: So I’m in love with Mr. Breville. The juicer and it’s pretty serious. I’ll plug in my juicing adventures that are (almost) daily. If I’m particularly bad, plan to see me down buckets of veggies and fruits.
The Pig Was Committed: Ever seen that funny little cartoon? Or if you are really smart, the scrum agile management system? Look it up. We don’t dawdle around with chickens around here. Like the pig, we are committed. This random section will be dedicated to the sad (yeah,right) forays into the world of meat and dairy.
More sections will develop as this thing goes on.
In the name of oxymorons,
Schuy
